Freedom in Improv: Seeking the UnknownPosted: 23 November 2013
I just read a great article by Arthur J. Deikman, about how to find personal freedom.
It resonated with me a lot, especially when I think of improv. When I started, without knowing it I was secretly asking for approval from the audience when I performed. The laughter or applause was the impetus to keep going. I realised that a couple of years ago, and it was very freeing to move past that stage.
We all have a steering wheel inside us. When I was hoping for a teacher to tell me how good I was, or an audience to encourage me I was letting go of the wheel and hoping somebody else would start driving for me. Then I wondered why it all felt so terrifying and out of control. Because my hands were off the wheel.
When I started experimenting and doing what interested me, suddenly I became much more confident. It was like I grabbed the wheel and started driving to interesting landmarks that caught my eye. I was no longer a passenger, I was an explorer.Of course I falter and fall back into old habits sometimes, but it’s really nobody’s job but mine to grab ahold of the wheel again.
Now when people appreciate my performance, it feels much more equal. They are jumping into the car for a while to come along for the ride, but I am choosing what sights we are going to see. And when I watch others I can relax and let them take me places. No need to be a back-seat driver.
What I realised is that it is supposed to feel strange and challenging when you do something completely new. I’m allowed to explore and make mistakes along the way just like everyone else. Trying to create a feeling of supreme confidence before I start experimenting is doing things the wrong way round. That’s like trying to draw a map before you’ve explored the territory. If you really want to grow and find something new about yourself you have to go where there aren’t any maps.
From the article above:
“Dependency kills us, for it is the unknown that gives us life. The unknown flowers when we are receptive to it, allowing it to enter. The unknown carries us to the constantly forming edge of the world where light, beauty, and ecstacy are found. There is no other path to the spiritual, to the creative, to reality.”
Check out my storytelling workshop coming up next week if you want to find more freedom in your work.